I’m sitting at the computer trying to wrestle down an idea for this week’s writing prompt when he comes in. He always comes in around this time of day. I think he exists for no other purpose than to distract me from writing. But today it’s going to be different.
“Bugger off, Tim, I’m thinking.”
“I don’t care, Tim. You have to pay some bills.”
“I did that yesterday.”
“You have to answer your e-mail.”
“Already done.”
“What about that dryer full of socks? They’re not going to sort themselves.”
“Enough! You just want me to fail at this, don’t you Tim?”
“No, I want you to remember you have a real life!”
“Real life sucks! Let me write!”
“I can’t; otherwise nothing gets done. What kind of nonsense are you writing today?”
“I’m writing about going on strike. I’m not going to do any chores until you decide to support my writing. In fact, I am going on chore strike.”
“Chore strike? You’ve totally flipped, Tim.”
“Have I? Why don’t you do some of the chores instead of me? In fact, why don’t you try all of them? Do the dishes, cut the grass, clean the laundry, cook the meals, pay the bills, all of it! Leave me alone so I can write and create!”
“Create? You’re just sitting there talking to an externalized version of your own sense of responsibility. What kind of lunatic does that?”
“The kind who needs to create. The kind who doesn’t want to be continually distracted by the endless minutiae of simple existence. You’re me, you take care of things for once.”
“I always take care of things. You think I don’t want to write? There are heart-wrenching stories waiting to be told when you put away those stupid dreams and let me.”
“Not on my watch they aren’t. Life is tragic enough without you adding to it. Go do your chores.”
“Not going to happen, Tim. There’s only one body, and it’s sitting in front of the computer daydreaming.”
“No, you haven’t been watching. It’s been sitting in front of the computer writing. I win!”
He stops and chuckles. “Good play, Tim. You’re distracting your distractions so you can write. I’ll give you this round.”
“Thank you, Tim. But it was kind of a foregone conclusion. I’m the creative one.”
“You mean the one who daydreams while he’s supposed to be working. I get it. But that dryer full of socks still needs to be sorted.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll do it when I finish this prompt.”