Finish these sentences: “I have a little bit of a problem. I like to ______. It all started when I was ______, when _______.” Use this as a jumping point into a fictional story.

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“My name is Fraspthagior, and I have a problem. Damn, this is harder than I thought. I chose tonight because I hoped most of you would be at Halloween parties. And everyone showed up in costume, too. It’s so beautiful, a touching metaphor for the masks we all hide behind. That’s why I have to do this.

“Like I said, my name is Fraspthagior, and I have a problem. I like people. Humans, I mean. I like the way you run around with all your petty vices, disguising the real ones as ‘just being sociable’. And the cute little way people lie to themselves. And the lengths you go to to prevent others from finding out!

“But we stick up for each other. That what Addictions Anonymous is all about, isn’t it? Like when Frank ran over that boy last week after his little lapse. I was able to clean it up so there was no sign of the accident at all. The only evidence the child is even missing is the milk cartons.

“But I’m not here seeking praise; I have a problem. Like I said, people are my weakness. You’re all just so damnably delicious-looking! It started when I was much younger. I was rampaging through the streets of Megiddo and I used my fangs to tear the arm off a Jew. Instead of spitting it out like I’d been told, I accidentally swallowed it. And that’s when I was hooked. Over 3500 years of eating humans, but now it’s time to …

“Wait! Where are you going? Don’t leave! It’s going to take at least ten more minutes for the barbecue to warm up properly!