The Importance of Proofreading

The Importance of Proofreading

Eric looked up from his computer as Wanda entered the room. He could tell from the look on her face that she had a few problems with his story.

“You haven’t submitted this yet have you, Eric?”

“I was just about to. Why, did you find some typos?”

“Um, not quite; I think you may have to look at some of your word choices. It’s about a swordfight, isn’t it?”

“Yeah; it’s set in the far future though, and we can’t actually use swords. That’s why I used the alien weapon.”

“Okay. What’s a penetra-stick?”

“It’s a stabbing weapon. It penetrates things.”

“And where exactly did he first penetrate her? Describe it, don’t name it.”

“That little thing at the back of the throat.”

“It’s called a uvula, Eric. U-V-U-L-A. Not what you wrote.”

“The spell check thought it was okay.”

“It’s a different body part. You might want to change that to ‘throat’. Now, ‘after he impaled her on the shaft, her chest started heaving in rapture.’ What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, she had a fit of extreme emotion and was left gasping for air uselessly because of the wound in her throat.”

“You might want to say that.”

“But it’s twenty-one words; my way only uses thirteen! There is a limit, you know.”

“I think you can sacrifice brevity for clarity here, Eric. Next you say she grabs his shaft – you mean the weapon, right?”

“Of course.”

“And she runs her hands up it expectantly?”

“Yes, she’s going to rip it off him and use it herself.”

“Even the explanation is disturbing.”

“What do you mean? She’s going to stab him in the side of his back!”

“That’s not what ‘thrust it up his backside’ means!”

“Sure it is.”

“And then she ‘thrusts repeatedly, prolonging his passion’?”

“Yeah. She stabs him a whole bunch of times to make it more painful. Oh, and you’re probably going to complain about him moaning when she does it. Either that or her screams of ecstasy over her victory. This is the climax of a larger story; it’s why it's called ‘The Great Climax’.”

“Eric, have you ever considered writing pornography?”

“Wanda! I’d never write that kind of filth!”