2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Crystal Ball

A crystal ball? Does this medium really have a crystal ball? And the name, the ‘Oracles Den’? Don’t they get that it should be in the possessive? It’s not like they have more than one: the only oracle is the scarecrow in the 1970’s era pimp shirt that looks like his girlfriend went mad with a Bedazzler.

It is kind of cool that we can both see the smoke and fuzzy TV in the crystal ball. That’s actually a good trick. I wonder what movie we’re going to see edited clips from? This should be interesting, in a sick way.

Nice close up. That always was my favourite part of you. And the way you’re working me is pretty impressive. Good to see that five years in the future you’re still just as athletic.

Wait a second! Where’s my tattoo? From that distance you should be able to read the writing on the little heart! That’s not me!

OMG! Oh! Emm! Gee! Is that Tara? What are you doing with the girl they just hired in the mailroom? Well, it’s obvious what you’re doing with her; she’s actually pretty hot. I never knew she was the type that would make that horrible squeaking noise, though. And I just love the way she’s bobbing in time with you. But where am I? Why am I even watching this? Oh, there I am, over in the chair, tied up. Why do I seem to be enjoying it so much? I never realized I was THAT kinky.

There, you’re done now.  I wonder what happens next. I guess she’s going to go wash up... no, she’s going over to me. And what’s that she’s saying? He IS nice, but I like you better. What’s that supposed to mean? Oh, right, I get it.

“NO! Why did the video stop? You were just getting to the good part!”