Office Politics

“I hope we don’t have to take away another body. Mr. Spitz was heavy.”

Steve froze and looked around. That was Fiona’s voice, but there’s no way any of the honey pool girls would have said what he thought he'd heard.

“Next time we draw cards to see who carries and who holds the doors. That way it’s fair.” That was Kim’s voice. Sweet little Kim? This had to be some kind of joke.

But what if it wasn’t? What if the girls were up to something? Steve had to quickly figure out a way to make them think he hadn’t overheard.

He dropped his suitcase and let out a loud groan. “Oh man, that was a rough flight. Where is everyone?”

Karen came out of the photocopier alcove and flashed a nervous smile at him. “Hi Steve. How did Boston go?”

“Boston was great; I landed the Flynn account. But there was turbulence the whole flight back.”

She looked relieved. “Oooh, does oo need a gwav-all?”

“No thanks, Karen. But I’d love a tummy rub.”

She flipped him the bird playfully. “In your dreams, Steve.”

“No, in my dreams it’s all three of you. One’s just an idle thought.”

As he took his bags away, Steve was pretty sure he heard Karen confirming to the others that he hadn’t heard anything. The girls in the honey pool kept Spitz Onual running; the last thing he needed was to upset them, even if they were up to something.

In his cube the flashing light on the phone told him there were messages. Two were from prospective clients and one was from Nancy, Mr. Onual’s secretary and office ornament. He liked seeing Nancy; there were some perks to working for misogynistic pigs. He took callback info for the clients, then headed for Onual’s office.

Nancy was at her usual desk outside the office, but that was the only usual thing about it. She’d let her hair down and was wearing a slinky green dress cut so low you could see her navel. She adjusted her glasses so she could look over them and Steve was immediately mesmerized by her new slit-pupil look.

“Hello, Steve, welcome back. Before you go in, I have to talk to you.”

Steve waited, hyperventilating. He saw the fangs when she smiled, but didn’t really care. That wasn’t what he was looking at.

“Mr. Onual wants to fire me, Steve, just because I became a vampire over the holidays. I think that’s an unfair labour practice, don’t you?”

Steve nodded. She was right; whatever Nancy said was right.

“I’m so happy you agree with me, Steve. I’ll have to think of a way to show it later.” Several ways crossed Steve’s mind. “Could you do me a really, really big favour?”

Steve nodded again.

He felt the cool metal as she pressed the gun into his hand. “Thanks a lot, Steve. I’ll call the honeys to help you take the body down to the dumpster.”