While shopping downtown one day, you find an antiques store that has a rare, old doll. You buy it for your daughter. A few days later she tells you her new toy can talk. You don’t believe her, until one afternoon you find yourself alone in the house, and it starts talking to you. Write this scene.
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“Your doom is upon you, Caitlin O’Bannon!”
The doll leapt from the top of the china cabinet and landed in my hair. I shook my head and it fell on the floor like a dropped pillow.
“Cut that out, Mister Muggins!”
“Woman, I swore I would have your life for making Stephanie eat those Brussels sprouts. And I will have it.”
I reached down and plucked him off my shin, holding him up at eye level. He was cute, in a rustic kind of way, an eighteen-inch tall soft cotton doll that I’d found in an antique store. Some previous owner had drawn a face on him and made him a set of clothes like a swashbuckling hero. He even had a little cloth sword at his side, though it was sewn to his pant leg.
“Have at thee, woman!” His dashing swashbuckler voice was totally at odds with his cuddly little self. He swung his tiny cotton fists at me. I even held him close to my face so he could hit me. It kind of tickled.
I sat down on the sofa and looked him in the little blue circles he called eyes. “I guess that means Steph is upset at me?”
“You made her eat those little green cabbages. I couldn’t stand them either!”
“Muggins, Steph is six years old and she’s my daughter. I know what she needs to grow big and healthy. And your mouth is just a line drawn in indelible ink. You can’t eat anything.”
“For chocolate cake I’d give it a try.”
“No way! The last time you got chocolate cake on you I had to put you through the washer twice.”
He wriggled free of my grasp and dropped into my lap. Then he attacked my tummy, which made me giggle a bit.
“Cut that out Muggins, or I’ll use you as a loofah!”
He looked up at me while he continued his ineffectual punching. “A loofah? One of those sponge things? You wouldn’t!”
“Just watch me.” I picked him up and carried him into the bathroom. I set his pirate suit aside so he’d make a better sponge and squirted body wash all over him. Then I undressed.
“You’re really doing this, aren’t you woman?” There was a slight tremor in his voice.
“Darned straight I am.” I squeezed him a few times to work up a lather and then climbed into the shower.
“Best offer I’ve had in years! Come to me, wench!”